Unlike the majority of foreigners who live in Japan, the Of Rice and Zen team don’t pollute our bodies with the flesh of unclean beasts and thus we don’t stink of a beef juice sweat. We don’t wash in the bath. We don’t blow our noses in public and we work all the hours god sends. We are practically Japanese. But with a burger this tasty-looking even we had to fall from grace and take a break from natto, raw egg and rice for a day.
So as you approach Heian-jingu in Higashiyama the giant torii gate spanning the road is a bit of eye-catcher. It’s actually very hard to notice how many other cool places are in the vicinity of the gate because you can’t peel your eyes off it. It’s a bit like a woman telling you she gets annoyed with boys who fail to look her in the eye and instead stare fixedly at the glorious golden eagle nesting in her hair. You don’t want to be a cliche, but at the end of the day it’s quite an arresting sight.
If you can force yourself to veer off the road to the left after the Kyoto Art Gallery and walk past the Kyoto Exhibition Hall you’ll find what may be the best burger joint in Kyoto on the right side of the road – the unfortunately named 58 Diner.
The cool blues music and open store front with an outdoor table give the restaurant a relaxed holiday vibe that makes you immediately want to settle in for a lazy summer afternoon and try one of every burger on the menu. The staff on the other hand can be a little too cool for school. Or business.
58 Diner’s mysteriously nonsensical catchphrase is “Good Burger and Tough Life”. Life would indeed be tough if their business consisted of one solitary burger, but no matter how hard things are, we’d appreciate a little smile or eye contact from the hard-knock-staff.
Let’s get to the meat of it (culinary pun five! [SMACK - click - stir]) though and just go on record as saying that these are some of the tastiest burgers the ORAZ team have ever had. They’re fresh and healthy as a burger could hope to be and an impressive variety of taste sensations have been crammed into each one.
Take the editor’s Neo-classic burger for instance. Bulging with a spicy patty that’d been mixed with seeds and black pepper, there was also a few slices of red cabbage, lots of herbs, a gorgeous, paste-like home-made sauce and some crispy french fries eager to get out of it and into his belly.
Our cameraman’s Geisha Burger on the other hand was thick with a herb-infused chicken burger and enough crispy salad to convince even the most logical and scientifically minded of diners that they were eating something vaguely healthy.
The sizes and prices range from the Cheeseburger at ¥830 or the Pineapple burger also for ¥830 with a side order of fries for ¥200. But of course we’re aware that not all ORAZ readers have been turned into refined culinary critics in their time in Japan. Some of you remain firm believers in “quantity over quality” and perhaps even believe that filling your face with the biggest double-decker on the menu is a sign of your impressive masculinity. You’re Conan. You’re Brian Blessed. You’re Vin Diesel with a streak of meat juice running down your chin.
If you fall into the latter category then one these is probably the burger for you:-
Ultimate Burger (one has to wonder if that’s the case, why make the others?) ¥1500
Mexican Burger (with jalapenos and avocado – slurp) ¥1100
Double Decker (with lettuce, tomato, onion in “a golden combination X2″ apparently – is that a taste or size rating? Who knows…) ¥1200
58 Neo Classic Burger (fashioned after the burgers scoffed by Aristotle himself in ancient Rome perhaps) ¥770
The burgers are then broken down into sub-categories based on how far they stray from their original “be a hamburger” brief
Beef
Cheeseburger (featuring an “original” barbecue sauce) ¥830
Bacon Burger (for those who wait for the coronary to just get its dark work over and done with) ¥810
Avocado burger (stuffed with slices of avocado and plenty of tartare sauce, as well as the obligatory beef/salad combo) ¥970
Pine Burger (luckily that’s just crap English for Pineapple burger and it doesn’t, to our knowledge, contain an actual pine-cone) ¥790
Chicken (yeah, we’re definitely playing with the boundaries of language now)
Geisha Burger (who knew, geisha really does taste like chicken after all – and better still it fits into the “vegetarian” category in Japan which is defined as “not part of a cow”) ¥750
Fried Chicken Burger (if you’re from Canada and think karaage is the only good Japanese food, this is like ironic ambrosia for you) ¥750
Sea (yeah we’ve lost it now)
Avocado Shrimp Burger (sounds good, we’ll admit, but as much like a hamburger as an otaku is like a maid if he’s wearing kitten ears and saying “moe” a lot) ¥950
Fish Burger (for the terminally unadventurous) ¥700
There are also a selection of hot dogs priced at ¥500-¥600, sandwiches at ¥850, rice dishes also priced at ¥850, a range of side dishes and a create your own burger option for those who think they have more imagination than the 58 Diner founders. Beverages consist of hot and cold running soft drinks from ¥350 to ¥500, shakes for ¥750, alocholic drinks including Heineken and Corona for ¥500 or canned Guinness for ¥550 and a selection of cocktails for the ladies of the female persuasion who’ve really let themselves go and want to get good and drunk after wolfing down two decks of beef-flavoured heart attack.
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58 DINER
京都市左京区岡崎最勝寺町2-38
電話:075-752-1358
58Diner
Kyoto
Okazakisaichojicho
2-38
Telephone: 075-752-1358
Opening hours: 12:00～0:00（ランチ12:00～15:00）
Closed: Mondays (as is the neighbouring Kyoto Zoo)
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